In Name Only (A Pine Falls Novel Book 2) Page 7

  “If you only knew how much I wanted it to be you.” I willed myself not to cry while I stood. “Excuse me. I’m going to . . .” Well, I had no idea what I was going to do, but I was going to do it somewhere away from Brock.

  Brock had other ideas; he grabbed my hand. “Don’t go. I’m sorry. I’ve been a poor date tonight.”

  “You’ve been enjoying yourself. It’s fine.”

  “No, Dani, it’s not. I wished you would have joined me.”

  “You never asked.”

  “I’m asking you now.”

  I downed the rest of my ginger ale like I was drinking a shot of courage.

  He stood and took the empty glass from my hand, setting it on the table nearest us. He faced me, his hand sliding around my lower back as he drew me closer to him. My hands landed on his chest. I tried not to be too familiar with him, though his nearness gave me a sudden urge to rip his button-up off. His sandalwood scent was driving me mad. The way our eyes locked made us look every bit the part of newlyweds sharing an intimate moment. When Brock’s warm breath cascaded down my cheek, I shivered.

  “I am sorry,” he whispered in my ear.

  My stomach fluttered. I bit my lip and looked around. “People are staring at us.”

  “Of course they are,” he groaned. “Do you forgive me?”

  “You’re confusing me.” I didn’t know whether I was coming or going with him.

  “I am confused,” he admitted.

  “So where does that leave us?”

  “Together.” He took my hand and led us toward the crowd of people surrounding Miles. When we entered the fray, he still kept ahold of me. Probably for show, but when our fingers interlocked and he squeezed my hand, I questioned my original assessment.

  Ariana looked relieved to see us together. Jonah patted Brock on the back.

  Aspen hugged me. “It’s so nice to see you. We need to have you over for dinner one of these nights.” She patted her belly. “Maybe after the baby is born.”

  “We should have you over.” I spoke impulsively. What was I thinking inviting people over like we were some real couple? It just seemed like the right thing to do. Aspen was about to pop, and they had two other children to care for. Making her cook for us seemed wrong. I turned to Brock with some apprehension. I didn’t want to ask for his permission, as that would make us both look bad, but I shouldn’t have assumed that he would be okay with that. We were barely eating dinner together as it was.

  “That’s a great idea,” Brock said without skipping a beat. “I’ll let you and Dani iron out the details.”

  Internally, I breathed a sigh of relief. I smiled at Aspen. “How about after we get back from Washington, DC, next weekend?”

  “Perfect.”

  “I’ll call you to firm up the date and time.”

  “Thank you.” She turned back to her husband and group of friends—people I was mostly acquainted with because of high school, and Shelby Prescott, who owned the clothing boutique M&M’S on Main. Sheridan and I had been frequent patrons lately. In fact, the dress I was wearing tonight had come from there. Shelby was from the South and was probably the nicest woman on the planet. She certainly had an eye for fashion.

  I reached up on my tiptoes and whispered, “Sorry,” in Brock’s ear. “I wasn’t thinking.”

  He stepped back, pulling us away from the crowd and drawing me closer to him so we could speak privately. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to invite them over.”

  “I don’t feel comfortable,” I admitted.

  With his finger, he gently tipped my chin up so we were eye to eye.

  I saw hints of my Brock swimming in his baby blues.

  “It’s going to take some time for both of us.”

  I nodded. “I suppose so.”

  “Let tonight be a step in the right direction.”

  “Okay.”

  He offered me a half smile. “I believe I forgot to mention how stunning you look tonight.”

  “I believe you’re right,” I played coy.

  “You are stunning, Dani.”

  I could hear the trepidation in his voice. “Maybe someday it won’t hurt you to say that.”

  He tucked a loose strand of hair that framed my face behind my ear. “You’ve always been so beautiful that it hurts.”

  I could feel my cheeks flood with warmth.

  “I like that I can make you blush. Shall we get back to the party?”

  “Yes,” I could barely say for being so overcome by the man I loved.

  He wrapped his arm around my waist, and together we walked out of our bubble and back to real life.

  We stayed side by side as we mingled for the rest of the party. It wasn’t like old times, as the easiness between us wasn’t there like it used to be. Nor had public displays of affection ever been part of our friendship. Not to say Brock was groping me in public, but he never let go of me. He even introduced me as his wife on several occasions, hardly tripping over the W word. In fact, sometimes I swore I heard a hint of pride in his voice. Though my low blood sugar and nausea could have made me imagine it.

  For a few brief moments that night, I didn’t have to pretend. Especially when I teased Brock that he should get an earring like Jonah’s. Jonah was constantly threatening to get rid of his, seeing as Ariana had tricked him into getting it last Christmas. I knew he never would, though, because Ariana loved it and Jonah lived to make her happy. Brock wasn’t even close to living for me, but at least when he adamantly declined getting an earring, he did it with a smile on his face. We also had a sweet moment when Damian, an old college classmate, came over. He was a reporter for a Denver publication covering the event. He kindly put his camera and notes away when he approached us.

  “I just wanted to say congratulations. I can’t think of a nicer couple to end up together.”

  Damian was so sincere, it was easy to roll with it. Plus, he didn’t bring up Brock’s escape. He didn’t even hint that he wanted to interview us. It was refreshing.

  “Thank you,” Brock and I said in unison.

  “I wish you all the best.” Damian waved before heading back to where the main action was taking place.

  “It’s getting late; you must be tired.” Brock read my mind.

  “I am, but if you want to stay, we—”

  “Let’s go home.”

  I wanted to run my hand over his stubbled cheek and kiss him. I might have, except we were interrupted by the one couple Brock had avoided like the plague all night. I’d noticed that Brock had covertly kept an eye on his brother and made sure we never got too close.

  Brant and Jill appeared out of nowhere, it seemed, and joined us near the stationery section, which displayed handmade cards and postcards of picturesque Carrington Cove. They already looked the part of a Washington power couple. Brant was decked out in a dark suit and tie, and Jill was dressed stiffly in a navy business suit. She’d tried to jazz it up with a paisley scarf around her neck; unfortunately, it made her look like a flight attendant.

  “We were just leaving.” Brock wasn’t curt but to the point. He still had to put on a show for Jill.

  Feeling the need to show Brock how I felt so he wouldn’t feel threatened by his brother, I slid my arm under his suit coat and wrapped it around his waist, getting as close to him as I could. Brock naturally reciprocated and placed his arm around me.

  Brant’s brows rose in surprise, but in his eyes I saw his approval, even the solace it brought. I was sure, like me, he prayed that Brock would forgive us both and love our baby.

  “Dani, I was hoping to speak to you for a couple of minutes, if you don’t mind.” Jill leaned into Brant and stroked his chest. Brant patted her hand as if he were touching his grandmother. Jill had to have felt the lack of warmth, yet she kept up her toothy smile. “We’re headed to DC tomorrow.”

  That was right; they were going out early for some schmoozing with various political bigwigs and to have their engagement phot
os done by some famous photographer I’d never heard of.

  “Sure.” I waited for her to speak.

  “I was hoping it could be in private. You know, some girl talk?”

  How odd. I mean, I liked Jill, but under the circumstances I had tried to keep my distance. Not only was I carrying her fiancé’s baby, but I had tried to keep her at arm’s length because I didn’t want to seem disloyal to Kinsley. You know, except for when I slept with the man she loved. I was an awful person.

  “Um . . . okay.”

  “It won’t be long,” she assured me.

  I looked up at Brock. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I’ll be here,” he replied.

  I reluctantly let go of Brock and followed Jill, who was weaving in and out of people like a woman on a mission. She cut a path to the front of the store and headed out through the exit. I wished I would have known she wanted to go outside. I would have asked Brock for his suit coat. September evenings in the mountains were chilly, and my dress only covered half my body.

  Jill didn’t seem to care how cool it was as she marched down the sidewalk. She halted in front of a closed salon two storefronts down. I guessed she was serious about the private thing. What did we have to discuss that required such unusual measures? My hand drifted toward my abdomen. Surely she didn’t know about that. John was adamant that she never find out.

  I rubbed my arms when we came to a stop on the empty sidewalk near one of the gaslit lamps.

  Jill narrowed her eyes at my cocktail dress. It was the first hint that perhaps this wasn’t going to be a friendly chat. And the first time I could see why she was hailed as a savvy businesswoman. There was no denying the shrewd glare she was giving me.

  In my heels I stood much taller than Jill, yet her attitude towered over me.

  “I knew I wouldn’t get the chance to talk to you alone once you arrive in DC, but I wanted to get a couple of things straight before my engagement party.”

  Her icy tone was colder than the temps and, quite honestly, shocking. She had always been so quiet and sweet.

  “And what would that be?” I couldn’t help but be a tad snarky. I didn’t appreciate her condescending tone.

  Her lip quivered, but she stood proud. “I’m under no delusions that Brant is in love with me, but I didn’t wait years for him only to be upstaged by you or your sister.”

  My heart broke for her even though she looked like she wanted to slap me. “What are you talking about?” Don’t let her be talking about my baby.

  “Please don’t take me for a fool. I see the way Brant looks at Kinsley, even you. I know what I bring to the table, and what I lack.”

  I’d never thought her to be unattractive until this moment. “Brant isn’t that shallow.”

  “I know he’ll be a loyal husband,” she snipped.

  “Then why have this little chat with me?”

  She looked up to the clear night sky twinkling with millions of stars. Her eyes filled with tears. “I deserve my moment,” she cried. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. How long I’ve loved Brant.”

  I knew they all went to some fancy prep school together back in Washington, DC, well before I’d ever met Brock and Brant. They used to refer to her as their sidekick. Brock had even teased Brant over the years that he was already betrothed to Jill, but Brant had always played it off. He’d never seemed interested in her. Then the last couple of years, she’d started to visit him more, especially this past year.

  She lowered her head, and her eyes bore into me. “Every school I went to, every career opportunity I took, was to be in this position. To help Brant reach his goals. And I didn’t do it so I could live in your beautiful shadow.”

  Was she for real? “You don’t live in my shadow. I don’t have a shadow.”

  She shook her head. “You have to see how the press writes about you. The beautiful humanitarian who saves children and is devoted to her hero husband and selfless causes. They make you sound like a fairy-tale princess. I hardly get a mention, even though my company donates millions to charities across the nation and my father has served under the last four presidents.” Wow, did she sound high and mighty.

  I tried not to read a lot of what was said about me online, and I felt uncomfortable watching our interviews. All I could see when I did was the pain. So I had no idea if what she was saying was true. Regardless. “This isn’t a competition.”

  She scoffed. “Life is a competition. The race Brant is running in is the biggest competition of his life, and he and I deserve our moment in the spotlight next weekend, so don’t . . .”

  “Don’t what?”

  She pressed her lips together until they became a thin line. “Just remember, it isn’t about you and Brock,” she pleaded, sounding a bit more like the woman I’d thought she was.

  “We are well aware of that. Good night.” I wasn’t going to listen to another word she had to say. The gall of her. I spun on my heels, intent on getting back to the warmth of the bookstore.

  “I only want what’s best for Brant,” she called after me.

  “That makes two of us.” Though I was sure, after our exchange, she wasn’t the best for Brant.

  Chapter Nine

  Brock walked out of his room with his luggage at the precise time I was walking past his door with mine. If only people could see the way we lived—his and her rooms. At least we were eating dinner together now and making small talk about our days. Well, Brock ate, and I nibbled on what I could.

  “Good, you’re ready. My parents will be here in ten minutes to pick us up.”

  We were driving together to Carrington Cove’s executive airport, then flying to DC on the Hollands’ private corporate jet. I couldn’t believe this was my life.

  “I’ll get your suitcase and garment bag.” Brock relieved me of both items.

  “Thank you.” I let out a heavy sigh.

  “Something wrong?”

  “After what Jill said last week, I wonder if I should go.” Brock was none too happy about that little conversation when I had told him about it on our drive home from the book signing.

  “She was grandstanding. It’s typical Washington behavior. Don’t let it get to you.”

  “It does get to me. I already feel like I don’t belong in your family’s world. And honestly, I’m in the middle of ramping up for our Christmas drive, and taking time away from work right now is more than inconvenient.” Even though Christmas was three months away, it took massive coordination and preparation between our partners, churches, and the local agencies we worked with every year to make sure every foster child in the three neighboring counties received a Christmas gift. And not just any gift—something they wished for.

  Brock let our luggage drop with a loud exhale. “Dani, I’m not thrilled about this trip either. But think of how it will look if you don’t go.”

  I grimaced.

  “I know you hate keeping up appearances. Unfortunately, that’s what you’ve signed up for being a part of this family.”

  I didn’t exactly sign up, but I didn’t mention that.

  “Can’t we just say I’m sick? It’s true. I’ll hibernate all weekend with my phone and laptop, so no one will see me.”

  “How will it look if I leave my sick wife at home?”

  I bit my lip. “Stay with me, then.” I used the most alluring voice I could muster up.

  He cleared his throat. “Uh . . .” He blinked several times, as if he had lost his train of thought. “We have to go.” He grabbed our luggage and rushed down the stairs.

  Right. Heaven forbid we stay cozied up all by ourselves for a few days. What was he going to do this weekend when we had to share a hotel room?

  I reluctantly followed him down the stairs, careful not to fall in my heels and black fitted pantsuit. This family dressed up for everything, even flying out on a Thursday evening.

  His parents were there in no time, picking us up in a large black Suburban with tinted windows. The vehic
le was straight out of a Jack Ryan movie. While John and Brock placed our luggage in the back, Sheridan hopped out of the car and greeted me warmly with a hug. “It will be so nice to have a traveling companion tonight while my boys talk business.”

  Yes, it was always a lot of business talk when they were together. Brock and Brant both held advisory positions within Holland Industries. It provided them both with obscene paychecks outside of their professions, allowing for luxuries such as the beautiful home Brock owned in the exclusive Bluffs neighborhood. It also allowed Brant to do mostly pro bono work in his law practice, which his constituents and campaign manager loved. Don’t get me wrong, Brant had his critics who were more than happy to point out his wealth and ties to his father, but so far it wasn’t resonating, if the polls were to be believed. The truth, as sad as it was, was that you had to have money to be a politician. It wasn’t often the little guy won.

  “I’m looking forward to it.” That wasn’t a lie. I loved the time I spent with Sheridan. She had embraced me in the way every woman dreamed her future mother-in-law would.

  “Me too.”

  Brock and John appeared and opened the doors for their respective wives. Once we were each settled, we were off. I wistfully stared out the window at the gorgeous homes in Brock’s neighborhood. They were few and far between, each unique, and all magnificent. They were a far cry from the simple home Grandma and Grandpa had provided. And they were worlds apart from the foster homes I had been shuttled between.

  The aspen trees dotting the landscape had lost their summer green and now resembled gold glitter in the late afternoon sun. It was a reminder of the changing of seasons. I was in a changing of seasons, of sorts. I worried, though, that just as the golden leaves would soon wither and die, figuratively, I might too. Would Dani Holland devour Dani Kramer?

  All the years I had been in love with Brock and wished for him to share his name with me, I’d never truly thought of what it would be like to live day in and day out in his world. Perhaps it was because I’d thought if I were his world, it wouldn’t matter. That somehow our love would have insulated us. However, I wasn’t his world, and I had been naive to think that would have protected me against the power and greed that surrounded us. And I’d had no idea how cold and calculating his father really was. I’d had no idea about a lot of things. Even Jill, who I’d thought was sweet, had this elitist, manipulative air to her. One she had hidden well, but had I ever gotten a taste of it. I feared she might scratch my eyes out at the engagement party if I got any attention at all. Believe me, I didn’t welcome the spotlight.