The Sidelined Wife Page 7

  I decided to write another post to thank everyone. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say, so I went with a humorous approach.

  Welcome to the Sidelined Wives Club. I’m not sure whether to congratulate you or give my condolences. Let’s go with congratulations. We’ve all made it through hell and we’re still alive; that’s something to celebrate. And now we know we aren’t alone. We have each other in this sucktastic adventure. We should probably lay some ground rules for the club.

  Absolutely no husbands. But bashing of said husbands is allowed, even welcomed.

  If husband has moved on, bashing of new wife or girlfriend is allowed. For example: she has bad bangs, her taste in clothing is hideous, her eyebrows are too close together, her IQ is lower than her age. You get the idea.

  Whining is allowed. Weeping and wailing is also permissible.

  Sharing is caring. Be sure to share stories of triumph and survival tricks.

  This is a safe space, although talk of doing anything illegal (i.e. anything that would put you in jail or make us testify against you) is frowned upon.

  And never forget, you’re not alone. You got this.

  All joking aside, your words and stories have touched and inspired me, so thank you. I’m off now to see if there is any chocolate mousse pie left.

  Yours Truly,

  Sidelined Wife in Chief

  I probably sounded ridiculous, but I clicked publish anyway. Like I said, it was the oddest night. I read the sneak peek one more time trying not to picture Reed. I did my best to picture the guy I usually pictured when I read about Hunter Black, the underwear model—I mean, the guy with the adorable puppy I started following on Instagram last year. That didn’t help. It only made me see the resemblance between the puppy guy and Reed. If I started picturing Reed in his underwear, I was getting a lobotomy. He would be coaching my son, for crying out loud. Come to think of it, I had seen more of him than I’d ever wanted. Reed and Peter had streaked through the woods once and jumped into the lake during one of our vacations. Granted, they didn’t know I was a witness. I had snuck off with Joel, the groundskeeper’s son. I was seventeen and he was twenty. That seemed so risqué to me back then. Joel had taught me how to French kiss, and we were fine tuning our skills when Peter and Reed gave us a show. Joel laughed, while I wanted to throw up in my mouth. Thankfully, I only caught their backsides.

  Now look at me, staring at Reed’s butt. What had happened to my life?

  Chapter Twelve

  The weird events from the day before followed me into the next day. I woke up to even more followers and comments. Not only that, but Autumn Moone linked my latest post to her website with the caption that she liked my style.

  My rules for the Sidelined Wives Club were a hit, at least for most. Some haters and men didn’t appreciate them, but I either ignored them or deleted their comments. It was much more fun to read women calling out their exes and their replacements. One woman even got creative and wrote a poem and added a picture of a buxom brunette. Meet Susie. Susie is a floozy. I thought she was my friend, but that hit a dead end. But no need to worry, she left my ex in a hurry. Now Greg begs for me to take him back, but all I do is laugh. You see, the joke’s on him, I got his money and a new honey. Life is swell with Miguel. So the moral of the story is, we are better off without the pigs. Don’t you fret or sweat their loss. Go and live your life like a boss. And, P.S., it’s his loss.

  I laughed so hard I snorted there in the kitchen while making breakfast.

  Cody came down stretching and yawning, but ready for practice. “What’s so funny?”

  I clicked out of my blog and set my phone down on the counter. “Just read something funny online.” I wasn’t sure Cody would appreciate my posts. I wasn’t even sure he knew I had a blog. I followed him on Instagram, which he hated even though he hardly ever posted anything. I guess there was this fear I would embarrass him on social media or perhaps catch him doing something he knew I would frown upon. That hadn’t happened yet. Yet. I grew up with two brothers, so I knew it was inevitable.

  Cody took a stool at the kitchen island and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “We should probably get your hair cut this weekend before school starts.” I started cracking the eggs I had been ignoring while reading comments.

  He shrugged. “I was thinking about growing it out.”

  I stopped mid-crack and gave him a good look. “I thought you didn’t like it longer because your curls came out.”

  He focused on the granite counter top. “Well, maybe I like it now.”

  “Okay. What’s her name? Is it Rory from last night?” She was a super cute girl. The kind that made me nervous, with her tiny waist and chest that was bigger than mine. And she had the hair swishing thing down with her long, golden locks. I recognized it, because once upon a time I did the same thing.

  Cody’s head popped up with a disconcerting look. “I just want to try something new.” He wasn’t owning anything.

  “It’s okay if you like her.” Not really, but I knew it was inevitable.

  “We’re just friends.”

  His declaration gave me no comfort. I could hear the hesitancy in his voice. “Well, I’ve always loved your curls.”

  Neil had the same ones when we met. I pushed that thought out and replaced it with my cute, chubby baby and his curls that I couldn’t get enough of. I let Cody pretend he didn’t hear his mom say she loved his hair while I finished cracking eggs for omelets. Then I did my best to pretend like everything was okay while I thought about getting a Latin lover named Miguel.

  I was glad Hershel couldn’t give Cody a ride today. Well, sort of. It meant allowing Cody to drive. I may have squealed a few times. He took corners way too fast. And morning traffic was no place for a fifteen-year-old. It certainly got my blood pumping. I would no longer be needing my cardio workout for the day.

  Cody pulled into the school parking lot, and not a moment too soon. The omelet I had eaten for breakfast was debating on making a reappearance. Something else made my insides feel different, too. Reed was walking across the parking lot and waved at me. I was still feeling guilty for checking out his butt and seeing him as Hunter Black. I swore he gave me a grin like he knew it, too. How could he? I ignored him and focused back on Cody.

  “Don’t get a concussion, drink lots of water, don’t look at porn, think good thoughts, and remember who loves you most. Me.” This was what I basically said to him every time we parted. Someday soon I would be adding, don’t make me a grandma.

  And like he always did, he rolled his eyes. “Bye, Mom.”

  “I’m waiting for the ‘I love you.’”

  He mumbled, “I love you,” before we both exited the vehicle.

  It was then I noticed Reed hadn’t kept walking toward the football field. He was now walking toward Cody. When he and Cody met, they high-fived and said a few words I couldn’t hear. I walked around the car to the driver’s side, while Reed headed my way. He was wearing another Coach Cassidy polo shirt and shorts that showed off his . . . Oh my gosh, I was doing it again. I was checking out his long, lean, muscular legs. I berated myself for being able to use so many adjectives to describe them.

  “Samantha.” He approached with his lips pressed together.

  I opened my car door and paused. For some reason I was nervous. “Hello.”

  “That’s better.” He landed near me.

  “What does that mean?”

  “You blew off my wave a few minutes ago.”

  “Sorry.” I shrugged my shoulders. Just like last night, I wasn’t sure how to take him. “I didn’t realize how sensitive you were about it.”

  He smiled. “Now you know.”

  “You’ve gotten touchy in your old age,” I teased.

  “Are we going to talk about my age again?”

  “According to you, we only met yesterday. We’ve never discussed your age.”

  He chuckled. “Good point. Which means you don’t know how old I am.”


  “And why does it seem to matter to you that I have a good approximation of your age?”

  He swallowed hard. Any trace of a smile was wiped off his face.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.” He stepped close enough that I could smell his cologne. It was nice, like spicy dark chocolate.

  I was disturbed I liked the way he smelled. I took a step back.

  He erased my step and moved forward. “I want to be known for who I am now.”

  I let out a heavy sigh. “I can relate to that.”

  His smile was back. “Like I said, I’ve always liked Samantha Decker.”

  The way he said my name had me swallowing hard. “Seeing how we met yesterday, that’s the only person you know,” I stuttered.

  “I should have specified the rules. I can remember my past.”

  “Whatever you say. I need to get to the office.”

  “I should get going too.”

  “Have a good day. Don’t let anything happen to my baby.”

  “He probably wouldn’t appreciate you saying that.”

  “Then don’t tell him.”

  “I’ll keep your secret.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll see you later.” He turned to leave, but didn’t quite make it. “Hey, I had a great time catching up last night. Maybe we could do it again.” His smile was different than before. Almost sensual. That couldn’t be.

  I stared blankly at him, caught off guard by his invitation and smile. “Um . . . I’m sure you would have more fun catching up with Peter.”

  “I doubt that.” His shoulders slumped before stalking off.

  I stood staring after him. I wasn’t checking out his butt. Okay, so maybe I noticed, but it was hard not to. Honestly, I was stunned and perplexed. It’s not like we were really friends growing up. Sure, we had a nice time last night, but I didn’t see us as the kind of friends that had dinner together. But once again, I think I demoralized him. I was going to do my best to stay away from the poor guy.

  With swirling thoughts about my conversation with Reed going through my head on the way to work, another man interrupted my thoughts. It wasn’t a welcome interruption, but I knew I had to take his call. Sharing a child necessitated it. I wasn’t completely surprised he was calling. I had done the grown-up thing yesterday and emailed him a copy of Cody’s football schedule with a note telling him he really needed to make the effort to attend at least the home games.

  “Hello.” I answered through the Bluetooth. The irony wasn’t lost on me.

  “Sam, it’s Neil.”

  “Believe it or not, I know your number and voice.”

  “I wasn’t trying to insult your intelligence. I was actually calling to check on you.”

  I shook my head. Did I hear him right? “Why?”

  He cleared his throat. “I read your blog.”

  That was awkward. “Since when have you read our—my blog?”

  “I’m the one who taught you HTML so you could set it up the way you wanted it.”

  That was true. It was hard sometimes to remember the good times. “I still don’t understand why you’re calling.”

  “Well, Roxie,” he said her name with great unease, as he should have. I wasn’t fond of him mentioning her and he knew it. “She mentioned something about an author, Autumn Moone, talking about you.”

  I laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I didn’t know Roxie could read.”

  His frustrated sigh came through loud and clear. “Petty doesn’t work for you.”

  “I don’t need you of all people lecturing me about my conduct.”

  “You’re right. I apologize.”

  I didn’t respond. He was right, it was petty, but I wouldn’t admit it to him.

  “Sam.” He paused. “I want you to know that I never saw you the way you expressed in your blog. If anything, I felt unworthy of you. Your beauty only increased each passing year, while I settled into middle age.”

  All I heard were excuses. “Please stop. I can’t take any more of your lies.” I’d heard this one before. He said he’d needed to feel young again and desired. Blah, blah, blah. He never understood that I wanted the aged version.

  “I’m not lying,” he raised his voice. “Do you think I wanted our lives to turn out this way? I was willing to work on our marriage. You were the one that kicked me out.”

  “You’re having a baby with another woman. That was your choice,” I shouted.

  Silence on his end.

  “I’m not hashing this out with you again, but don’t you dare blame me for this. I loved you, Neil, and gave you everything I had and sometimes more. You threw me away, not the other way around.”

  “I am sorry. I don’t know what else I can say.”

  “Not a thing. Goodbye.”

  “Hold on.” His pause was longer than before. “Do you think you could take down your blog post? You have to admit it’s an embarrassment to me and Roxie. And you aren’t one to air dirty laundry out in public.”

  All I could do was laugh, that tired, angry, maniacal laugh. “For a second, you had me fooled. I thought maybe you really were sorry, but like always, you only care about yourself. The answer is no, I won’t be taking down that post. In fact, you can expect more. And if you were worried about being embarrassed, you should have thought about that before you decided to bed a girl that wondered why she was going to have contractors when she gave birth instead of contractions.”

  “Could you please forget about that? She misread a pamphlet. It was an honest mistake.” He didn’t believe a word he said. I could hear the grating nerves in his voice. Neil valued intelligence and decorum. Roxie had neither.

  Maybe it was awful of me, but ever since Cody came home a few months ago and told me about what Roxie had said, I’d been laughing about it, as had everyone I told about it. Even Cody knew women had contractions. That was the last time Cody ever spent a weekend with his dad. I think he may have hated Roxie more than me. He came home early that weekend, vowing never to have anything to do with his dad or Roxie and begging me to get full custody. It was the first time Cody cried over the breakup. My heart broke in ways I never knew it could that day. I wasn’t sure if or when those pieces would come back together.

  “Neil, don’t call me unless it has to do with Cody. Did you get the football schedule I sent you?”

  “He doesn’t want me there.”

  “He never will until you come. The more you stay away, the more he’ll resent you.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “We both know what that means. You’re going to ruin the best thing you have going for you right now.”

  “It would seem that’s what I’m best at.” He hung up without another word.

  At least he finally told the truth.

  Chapter Thirteen

  By the time I reached the office, I was shaking and crying. I swore I wouldn’t cry over Neil anymore, but there was a part of me that desperately wanted him to acknowledge the pain he had caused me and Cody. I wanted him to truly understand what he had done. Deep in my heart, I knew he never would, but for a split second today I thought maybe he got it. Once again, though, he disappointed me. I needed to quit giving him that power.

  I fanned my eyes and blew my nose, trying to get rid of the evidence of my breakdown. Judging by the trucks in the parking lot, I knew my brothers were there. It was one thing for Avery to see me in this state, but the men in my life liked to pretend I was handling it. They were fixers, and they knew this wasn’t something they could make better. If only they knew that they were making it better. Sometimes all I needed was their arms, especially my dad’s. And the way Peter and James took Cody under their wings meant more to me than they would ever know.

  With most of the evidence of my tears gone, I headed in, taking deep breaths as I went. I was getting better, I reminded myself. I didn’t even wince this morning when I looked in the mirror a
nd got ready. That was progress. And Autumn Moone knew who I was, along with a bunch of other women I didn’t know. Not to mention there was that sneak peek to read over and over again. Now I was sounding pathetic. But I was trying.

  Avery’s face lit up when I walked in, only to be doused when she took a second glance at me. She came running around the front desk. “What’s wrong, honey?”

  I apparently hadn’t done a good job of hiding my episode. I should have touched up my makeup, but I hadn’t carried any around in months. I figured, why bother? I couldn’t even stand to look at me, so who else could? I found myself wrapped up in Avery’s toned arms. It had been a frequent occurrence the past year, which made me feel guilty, considering her own loss.

  I sank into her. “Neil called.”

  She swore in French under her breath and held me closer. She had spent a semester abroad in college and loved using her multi-lingual skills when she was angry. She always said it came in handy as a wife and mother. “He didn’t ask for another chance again, did he?”

  “No. He asked me to take down my blog.”

  “He read it?” There was a lot of glee in her voice.

  “Supposedly Roxie is a fan of Autumn Moone too. I’ll try not to let that affect my love for Ms. Moone.” I sniffled.

  James and Peter came walking in from the side door. I left the comfort of Avery’s arms, but it was too late. I had been caught.

  “What’s happened now?” James approached, his overprotective brother jaw was tight. He could be a menacing creature if he wanted to be. He was tall and muscular. His jet-black hair with strands of gray gave off a shrewd look. In reality, he had a heart of gold and was mostly a teddy bear, unless you messed with his family.

  “I’m fine.” I smoothed out my white eyelet blouse.

  James narrowed his gray eyes. Like I said, he was reluctant to know anything he couldn’t fix.