Christopher and Jaime (Pianos and Promises #1) Read online

  “Did you have fun playing with Emeline?”

  “Uh-huh, but I want to see Daddy.”

  I squeezed her tight as she sat on my lap. “I know, baby, but you aren’t old enough and Daddy is sleeping for a few days.” It was the best way I could describe it to her. “He got a big bump on his head and they’re trying to make it all better.”

  Her bottom lip quivered and her blue eyes filled up with tears.

  “It’s going to be all right.” It had to be. “Grandma is coming to take you to the zoo while I go stay with Daddy. Do you want to make him a card?”

  She nodded with vigor. “And can I give him Benny?”

  “I’m sure he would love that.” Benny was her stuffed cow she’d had since she was two. She used to carry it around with her everywhere, but now was slowly outgrowing him. She still slept with him though, so this was a sacrifice on her part.

  I found the box with art supplies in it, and set bug up at the table while I finished getting ready. I was braiding my hair when Chris’ executive assistant, Charles Beckett, called. He wasn’t only an assistant, he was Chris’ friend, Allie’s godfather, and my ex-boyfriend. To us, he was Beck, the Beck he had mentioned in his journal. We had weaved a tangled web.

  I put him on speaker and his debonair voice echoed in my bathroom. I pictured him perfectly in my mind: sleek suit; subdued tie; and dark, slicked-back hair. He was a good mix of Colin Firth and Hugh Grant—the charm of Hugh mixed with the intensity of Colin.

  Like Chris mentioned, he and Beck had been friends since their days at Duke. And just like Chris, he was a licensed commercial broker, but he was better suited being on the admin end of it. I dated him on and off for a year while he was attending Duke. Long distance relationships were tricky, and it was made even more so since I was hopelessly devoted to Chris. It was during the same time Chris and Bianca started getting serious, and I was having a terrible time deciding if I was with Beck because I liked him or because I needed someone to help me deal with losing Chris. Beck finally broke it off. I’ll never forget his words. “For you, I would play second best, love, but you need to sort out your feelings.” His British accent alone was worth sticking around for, but he was right, I wasn’t being fair to him. I did my best to hide my feelings for Chris, but I never could successfully mask them.

  “Jaime, love, how’s your bloke this morning?”

  “You mean yours?”

  “Now that won’t do. You two need to kiss and make out, or up, or whatever it is you do. He’s been a beast to work for the last few months. I told him to buy you something shiny already and beg for your forgiveness. I miss your visits at the office.”

  Until our separation, I had tried to drop by the office once a week to bring Chris his favorite coffee and muffins or meet him for lunch. I had also enlisted Beck’s help to set up some other surprises, but I couldn’t think about those because it only opened the unhealed wounds surrounding my heart.

  “He’s still in a coma,” I answered.

  “Love, how are you holding up?”

  “Better than he is.”

  “He’ll come through. He’s has too much to live for.”

  “Yeah, the Addison building.”

  “Cheeky this morning. I will give you that he’s an arse, but he’s been beside himself ever since you’ve split up. Every time I walk into his office, he’s staring at the picture of you and my goddaughter.” There was always such love in his voice when he spoke about Allie.

  I was surprised he hadn’t taken the picture down. I supposed since Allie was in it, he kept it up. “Does he still have the picture of Bianca on his desk?” I wasn’t sure why I even asked that. Like I needed more heartache this morning.

  “Don’t even get me going on that slag. And no, that picture is long gone. I say good riddance. Christopher was never as chuffed with her. And I’ve never seen him so gutted, not even when the hag died, may she burn in hell.”

  He made me laugh. “That’s not a very nice thing to say.”

  “I’ve said and thought worse. I have no intention of making it to heaven, so it’s all brilliant.”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Making me smile.”

  “I do enjoy that smile of yours.”

  “Beck.”

  “I know. You had to marry the prat we both claim as our mate. For all our sakes, I hope he figures out what the bloody hell he’s got going for him before it’s too late.”

  “It is too late.”

  “I don’t believe that. He may have lost the plot for a moment, but he doesn’t want to lose you.”

  Talking to Beck was like speaking a different language sometimes. I didn’t respond to him. Chris’s actions were counter to what Beck was saying.

  “I gave him a severe ear-bashing over it.”

  “I’m sure that went over well.”

  “He took it. He knows what a right prat he’s been.”

  “By the way, I think he might have some files that you need. Do you want to meet me at the hospital for lunch?”

  “Is that an invitation? I know what you and Christopher do on your ‘lunch’ dates. I’m still jealous.”

  I felt myself blush.

  “Don’t be shy,” he said as if he knew my cheeks were turning pink. “I’ll see you midday.”

  He was just what I needed to lighten my mood, even if it was temporary. It was particularly helpful before my mom arrived. I loved my mom, but she was not happy when Christopher and I decided to get married. I’m not sure any of my family was, except Bree. And she was more like supportive.

  “Grandma Karen.” Allie jumped off her seat to greet my mom at the door.

  I will say that my mom, for as unhappy as she was about my marriage, took to grandmothering Allie in no time at all.

  My mom picked her up and held her tight.

  “Thanks for coming, Mom.”

  She gave me a wry smile and set my daughter down.

  “Baby doll, why don’t you finish your card for Daddy. I’m going to leave in a minute.”

  She trotted off to the table.

  I turned back toward my mom. “Sorry everything is in disarray, but there’s plenty of food in the refrigerator and Allie’s bed is set up. I’ll be back either late tonight or early tomorrow morning, depending.”

  “Don’t worry about us. We’ll have a grand time.”

  “Thanks.” I turned to walk back toward my bedroom to get my bag and Chris’ briefcase for Beck.

  My mom followed me. “So how’s Chris?” she whispered.

  “It’s hard to know for sure, but the doctor is optimistic.”

  “I suppose this changes things.”

  I rubbed my forehead. “What do you mean?”

  “I guess you’ll be taking him back.”

  “No, but I wish you wouldn’t say it like that. I know how unhappy I made you by marrying him, but it’s over now, so everyone can say I told you so and move on.” I held on to my bedpost for strength. I didn’t have the time or the energy to break down.

  “Jaime Jo, we’re worried about you. We don’t want you to get hurt again.”

  “Nothing hurts more than losing Chris. I love him.”

  She reached over and touched my cheek. “You always have. We knew you would eventually end up together, but your daddy and I were hoping he would have matured more before that happened.”

  “Chris is plenty mature.”

  “Not in the ways that count. He’s always thought more about his own wants and needs.

  Why do you think we let you run off to Europe?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Because you wanted me to see what the world had to offer.”

  “We wanted you to see what a world without Christopher offered.”

  “Now I know, so you and Dad can be happy. Mission accomplished.”

  “If you think this makes us happy, you’re sorely mistaken. We hoped it would work out. For a while there, we thought it might. We just want you to be car
eful. You’re in a vulnerable spot now.”

  “Don’t worry, I have no intention of taking him back. He doesn’t want me anyway.”

  “Oh honey, he does, but until he figures out what being a husband and father are really all about, he doesn’t deserve you.”

  “I know, Mom.”

  “I love you. I hope Chris gets better soon, and I don’t just mean physically.”

  I kissed her cheek. “Thanks for watching Allie.”

  She smiled. “Any time.”

  I felt like crying all the way to the hospital, but I held it in. My parents were rightly reserved when I announced I was marrying Chris. It didn’t help the situation that we married two weeks after our decision. My parents did their best to be gracious and even put together a lovely little wedding for me, their only daughter. We had married in front of the large magnolia tree in my parents’ backyard. It was perfect timing, the tree was in full bloom and I remembered everything with exact clarity.

  I had walked across the lawn barefoot in my, white, off-the-shoulder summer dress, toward a smiling Chris, who was dressed semi-casually in dark slacks and a white button-up shirt. Allie was standing in front of him, looking adorable in a white-cotton dress to match mine, holding a small bouquet of sunflowers. We thought at first it would be only my family and a few close friends, but we were surprised how many old friends and teachers wanted to come. Just like my mom said, they all knew we would eventually end up together. I’m glad someone did, because I sure didn’t.

  I don’t really remember what the preacher said that day, I was so taken by the man who held my hand and never let go that day, or even for the next couple of days. It was like no one else existed outside of our little family. During the ceremony, Chris held my gaze and frequently reached up and stroked my cheek; he even stole kisses between the preacher’s flowery words. I felt loved and adored.

  Then the kiss the bride moment came and I thought he would be dramatic about it, like he was with Bianca, dipping me down and showing off, but it wasn’t like that at all. He took me in his arms and whispered for my ears only, “You’re so beautiful.” He ran his hand down the length of my cheek before he leaned in, and with gentle sweetness, pressed his lips against mine. I felt cherished. It felt different from the wild, passionate kisses we had been sharing in the days leading up to our wedding. Those kisses spoke of making up for lost time and enjoying this newfound aspect of our relationship, but our first kiss between husband and wife felt like forever.

  But now forever was lost.

  Chapter Six

  I placed the card our bug made near his bedside, along with Benny the cow. The card broke my heart. She drew a picture of the three of us all holding hands with a big heart around it. I hated that her big heart was being broken.

  I settled in by his side. He looked worse this morning. I could see more bruising on his scruff-filled face. I knew he would hate that he wasn’t clean shaved, but I always liked the five o’clock shadow. His brow was furrowed and I could see frustration on his swollen face. If he was aware at all, I was sure it was killing him to be bedridden. He was the kind of person that never called in sick, and if ever he was sick, he would go anyway and push through it. I admired his dedication, I only wished he was equally so with Allie and me.

  I found myself holding his hand. It was what we did, and I knew we never would again. That thought ached so much, I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath.

  I intruded into his thoughts again, too. I opened the journal and it fell open to the page where he had attached his grandma’s funeral program. I had felt as if my own grandmother had died when she passed away. Miss Allison had taken a nasty spill and ended up in the hospital. It only got worse from there—infection and then pneumonia. Her body couldn’t recover. I was there with Chris when she passed. He held one of her hands, and I held the other. I remembered the tears welling up in his eyes. I had saved mine. I wanted to be strong for him.

  “Thanks for always being there for me,” he whispered across her lifeless body.

  It’s a horrible thing to listen to the heart monitor slowly retire, especially when it’s a loved one. It was like watching an hour glass trickle away until the last grain of sand fell.

  It was a rough time for Chris all around, and maybe for me, too. At the time, they had just found out they were pregnant with Allie. Shock was an understatement. And like I said, Bianca’s reaction was atrocious.

  I understood being scared, but she was vile, referring to her unborn baby as an infectious disease or parasite that was going to ruin her figure. I think she purposely ate less. I believe her attitude gave Christopher some pause, though he never said anything to me. But, oddly, after Miss Allison’s passing Bianca began to behave better about the impending arrival. I tried not to be suspicious about it, because I was insanely jealous. At the time, I threw myself into finishing my master’s program to deal with my unfavorable feelings.

  I flipped through the pages of Chris’ thoughts on the subject. Besides the grief I already knew he felt because I lived it with him, there was a passage I was caught off guard by.

  Gran’s estate sale took place today. It was more successful than we had anticipated. I wish I could say what a relief that was, or even how happy I am about it, but selling off my memories and disappointing the woman who raised me has brought neither. Even worse, I devastated Jaimes. She won’t mention it, but her look at the auction said it all. What in the hell is wrong with me? Gran wanted her piano to go to Jaime, and there Jaimes sat to bid on it. She never had a chance. The first bid alone knocked her out of contention. She walked out without a word to me. It was like she knew. Why didn’t I give her the piano? It was mine to give. No, it was hers. She loved it and no one, not even Gran, played it so well. They belonged together.

  But where would she put it? She lives in a dive barely big enough for her.

  Bianca said the money we made from it will be better spent investing in our future. That doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel right. In an instant, I disappointed the two women who have been a constant, unfailing presence in my life. Neither would have ever acted so selfishly.

  I’ll make it up to Jaimes.

  I looked up from the book and dropped Christopher’s hand. Miss Allison had promised me the piano, but I didn’t say anything. I thought maybe she had changed her mind, because I knew if she had told Chris, he would have made sure it was given to me. My trust had been misplaced. How could he? He knew how much that piano meant to me. How much his grandmother meant to me.

  She wasn’t just a once-a-week teacher to me. Anytime I was there we sat at her piano, talking and playing. She gave me priceless advice like, don’t bother with pantyhose, the devil invented them. Or, if you eat a cookie while standing up and drinking a diet soda, you won’t feel the calories. Beyond her sage advice, we talked plenty about Chris. “You two were written in the stars,” she would say. It was on that bench I first saw Christopher.

  “Do you know my grandson?” Miss Allison had asked.

  I shook my head no. We went to different elementary schools. He went to the brand new one where all the well-to-do families went. I went to the one across the railroad tracks. My first glimpse of a gangly Chris gave me my earliest taste of butterflies in my stomach. He flashed a crooked smile at me as he tossed a soccer ball in the air, and that’s all it took—I was his. By the way Miss Allison smiled at me, I thought she knew from the very start that he had stolen my heart.

  After every lesson, she would say, “Why don’t you go find Chris?”

  He was always waiting for me with an adventure. Sometimes it was down by the river where he taught me how to catch a fish with my hands, or in the Foster’s orchard where we ate apples until we were sick to our stomachs. Or sometimes we just held hands on the back porch swing, not saying a word.

  That boy would have never sold his Gran’s piano.

  The dam broke, and tears streamed down my face as I watched Chris’s heart monitor and wondered where his hear
t truly lay. I was interrupted by Beck, who came by early.

  I wiped away the foreign water works from my face, but I wasn’t fooling anyone.

  There Beck stood, looking dashing. I could have had my own Prince William, but Beck deserved a woman who could give him all of her heart.

  “I don’t do emotional females,” he stated.

  I smiled and wiped more tears away.

  Beck was all talk, and before I knew it I was wrapped up in his arms and sobbing. Crying for what used to be, what could have been, and for all that I had lost.

  Beck patted my back. “It’s a good thing you’re gorgeous without makeup, or I would be sending you a bill for mucking up my suit. Now tell me what’s causing these tears?”

  I turned away from him and stared at Chris.

  “Him? He might be mucked up now, but he’ll pull through.”

  “It’s not that. I’m beginning to feel like I never knew him. I feel like a fool for marrying him and pining for him for over half my life. He’s never loved me.”

  “That’s bollocks.”

  I picked up the journal and handed it to Beck. He perused the cover. “So you’ve been prying.”

  I nodded with shame.

  He eyed me carefully. “You look peckish. Let’s go get something to eat.”

  “I’m not really that hungry.”

  “Too bad.” He reached for my hand and pulled me all the way to the cafeteria. “Sit,” he ordered while he went off to grab us some food.

  I stared at the journal while I waited for him. Maybe I should have never opened the wretched thing. Of course I shouldn’t have; it was meant to be private.

  Beck returned with an assortment of desserts and two bottles of water.

  I raised my eyebrow. “You consider this lunch?”

  “This is bare-your-soul food.” He handed me a fork.

  I pulled the carrot cake towards me. “Thank you.”

  He took the large piece of chocolate cake. “So what deep, dark secret did you discover whilst snooping?”

  I set my fork down. My stomach was churning. “Now who’s being nosy?”

  “Love, I know every move Christopher makes. I own his life, but you, you own his heart.”